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David LaFrenais' OTHER CHARACTERS |
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 Name - Ronald Winston Lockjaw Age - 56 Breed - Bull terrier Colour - Dark Brown with flecks of Grey Height - 5ft 9" Ethnicity - Londoner -WASP Sexual Orientation - Straight and frequent use of genitalia. Digestive and Eating/ habits - frequent bowel movements. Character Traits - Tough, unrelenting, crooked, limited moral ethics. Happily makes money from the gullible. Characterised by his chain cigar smoking habits. Likes to act and dress the part of small time gangster/club owner. Plays sugar daddy to the 'young pretty things.' Type of business - Club owner, protection racketeering, and importer of spurious electrical goods from Kazabastan. (somewhere near the Mongolian western boarder) Aspirations - to die with a smile on his face Political Ideology - Regular contributor to Conservative party. Musical and dancing talent - Appreciation for lap-dancing. Strengths and Weaknesses - Physically strong - ex - street fighter. Weaknesses - cigars, young women, gambling, whiskey, money.... AOI - Ex - con from East End of London.
Name - Uriaha Stoat Age - 45 Breed - Part Doberman - part wolf! Height - 6ft 2" Ethnicity - Home Counties - WASP Sexual Orientation - Straight but not nice. Digestive and eating/disorders - Huge appetite for all of life's little pleasures! Character Traits - Insincere to the point of 'finger down the throat'! Self obsessed, mean,greedy, uncharitable,womanising, power tripper! Very bad listener! Occupation - Bank Manager. Aspirations - To watch his customers squirm on the floor when asking for bank finance. Political Ideology - Extreme right wing - would be KKK if it existed in UK. Musical and Dancing Talents - Likes to listen to classical music - heaven help you if you interrupt him. Strengths/Weaknesses - Can undo a bra with the flick of the wrist within 30 seconds! Doesn't believe in weakness! AOI - Courting the affections of Cloxene Strainer. Likely to become Cloxene's other half and STEP DAD to her poor father - less kids.
Name - William and Brenda (Nana) Skinner Age - Old! Breed - A right old 'cufuffle' Colour - Faded a long time ago! Height(s) 5ft 7" and 5ft 5" Ethnicity - William is Cornish and Nana is Welsh - non denominational. Sexual Orientation - Perverts. Digestive/eating /habits/disorders - Disgusting (both of them) Character Traits - Not short of a bob or two but not keen on spending it either. William - Country bumpkin from the west country - (speaks in a country accent) but sharp when it comes to money. Likes to play gambling games with children. He has a tendency to ramble on and on and on...frequently loosing the plot because he is going gaga. Both he and Nana are hard of hearing. Nana - Welsh - sings old war songs whilst doing the chores - drip dries her baggy old tights over the stove (dripping into the soup!) Rarely has her false teeth 'in' and insists on 'kishing' everyone she meets on the lips - sometimes even manages to slip her tongue down Dave's throat (tonsil tickler) ugh! Thinks that we still live in the age of pounds, shillings and pence and constantly converts back to the old currency. When she hands out money to the kids - its normally just a few worthless pennies but nevertheless insists that they 'tek' it - go on 'tek' it she cackles eh,eh,eh he! Doesn't believe in waste and insists that even the shared glass of water that they put their teeth in - is drank if someone is thirsty! (its an old war mentality) Political Ideology - Right wing- "Churchillian" and very fond of that lovely grocers daughter - Mrs. Thatcher. Bring back hanging and national service. Musical and dancing talents - Remember the film Dirty Dancing? Well....put it this way... they like to gird their loins on young pretty things. Strengths and weaknesses - The power to confuse (can be both a strength and a weakness!)
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Name - Henry Sheepshanks Age - 56 Breed - Chihuahua/Alsatian cross. Colour - Beige (just like his character) Height - 5ft 2" Ethnicity - West Midlands WASP Sexual Orientation - none, (well limited and straight) Digestive and eating habits - Good digestion and normal eating habits - strong constitution! Character Traits - Beige. Has a puerile sense of humour,easily intimidated especially by Sheila. hates hassle and 'puts up and shuts up'! Type of business/occupation - none - made redundant and now does the washing up at home. Aspirations - to become a champion ballroom dancer. Political Ideology - "don't mind really" Musical and dancing talents. His only real passion in life is ballroom dancing. He and his partner - who has a 'thing' about him are regular contenders in ballroom dancing competitions - much to Sheila's snide amusement. Strengths and Weaknesses - not much strength really physically or emotionally - weaknesses - can't say "no" AOI - Married Sheila on the rebound at a time when she was desperate for emotional support.
Name - Dorothy Petunia Marigold Sinclair (Dolly Baldhead) Age - 31 Breed - Boxer (ish) Height - 5ft 6" Ethnicity - West Midlands - WASP Sexual Orientation - Lesbian Digestive/Eating/Disorders - Normal bowel movements - no particular eating disfunctionality Character Traits - 'Ruff' as a dog and you wouldn't want to pick a fight with her. However, she is very kind hearted! Lives alone with only her highly venomous pet viper 'Snuff' for company. Had a very traumatic upbringing hence she portrays a tough stance on life. Currently no partner. Type of Business - Alternative therapist inc' Reiki practitioner, aromatherapy and massage. mmm seems unlikely - but it works! Political Ideology - Socialist and activist for Gay and Lesbian movement. Musical and dancing Talents. Plays Bass guitar in Dave's band - too 'butch' to dance. Strengths and Weaknesses - Kind hearted and great bass player. Weaknesses - spends all her money on her big passion in life - a customised and 'stripped' down Harley Davidson chopper. AOI - despite the rather unassuming and feminine pose for the attached picture - Dolly is rarely seen without her bikers jacket and denim waistcoat heavily regaled in badges and pins etc.
Smokey Eyestight Great friends with Dancing Eddie
- after all they share a common interest - Benson and Hedges - loads of
them! Age - 45 Breed - Sort of Afghan (an Afghan dad got in there somewhere!) Height - 6ft 1" Ethnicity - West Midlands - WASP Sexual Orientation - Well if oi 'ave to! Digestive and eating habits - Pork Pies and mustard - loves them! and curries and steak and chips -anything really! Drinks huge amounts of strong beer. Character Traits - well I don't know really. But when push comes to shove - Smokie is yer man! Type of business - Scrap yard owner. Aspirations - to grow what he can eat. Political Ideology - complicated. Musical and dancing talents - Don't be stupid - real men (or dogs) don't dance! Strengths and Weaknesses - Great philosopher - likes Van Morrison (always playing in the background) Smokes like a true professional. Weaknesses - age related bladder problems. AOI - Dave's big GREASY pal and supplier of them bits that Basher can't provide.
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